Funny verdicts for messy DMs, mixed signals, awkward flirting, and suspiciously emotional use of "lol."
Chill claim denied.
The charge
Excessive Strategic Nonchalance
Evidence
"lol" deployed 14 times as emotional body armor.
The sentence
3–5 business days of group chat ridicule.
Cases people can't stop sending to the group chat.
This conversation has been pretending to be casual while clearly not being casual.
The charges
Judge's Note
“No one here is relaxed. The court refuses to believe otherwise.”
The sentence
3–5 business days of group chat ridicule.
This group chat contains one decision-maker and multiple ornamental citizens.
The charges
Judge's Note
“One person built the bridge. Everyone else applauded from shore.”
The sentence
Promote one. Fine the rest.
This conversation remains work-safe on paper, but the vibe has filed for reclassification.
The charges
Judge's Note
“The court cannot prove flirting, but the record is not helping.”
The sentence
Proceed carefully and maybe before 6 PM next time.
Paste a chat or upload a screenshot. Names can be masked automatically.
DM Court checks the energy, the imbalance, the fake chill, and the suspicious phrasing.
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